in between

When I was in junior high school, I had a friend who was mentally disabled. Despite the fact that we never had classes together, we spent time together and became quite close friends.

I went on to a public high school and he went to a special school for mentally handicapped children. As I was becoming acclimated to my new environment and making new friends, I soon began to forget about him. As I was nearing graduation from high school I was told he had died. He was taking a bath and had an epileptic seizure. Several years later I was reminded of his death while taking a bath in the tiny,shallow bathtub in my NYC apartment.

Since that day of remembering him, I have spent many hours in the bathtub with a water­ proof camera, trying to visualize what he saw at the end of his life. I was hoping that while photographing in the water I could alleviate the fear of death from my mind, and I also wanted to keep the memory of him and his death within me. However, even after completing this project, I still find myself afraid of dying and sometimes forgetting about him.